I am so far from an expert parent, it is comical. I now have 3 boys and operate by the "fly by the seat of my pants" method which includes minimal research, pediatrician guidance, and a whole lot of luck.
The first baby everything was so new, exciting, frightening. You just take one thing at a time- awww, poor thing spit up again (she laughs with a smile)... WHY is his penis PURPLE??? (that was a legit first baby freak out- and that is exactly what I said to the doctor... who then laughed at me.) The second baby comes and you think, easy peasy, I've done this before, especially since they were both boys- and everything seems like an old hat... till you have to practically build a cage to attempt to keep in him the crib (which he broke free of in less than a day)... and he jumps on the bed and knocks out a front tooth... normal stuff right?
Enter baby boy #3. I have got this. After the first two, there is not much that shocks, surprises, or scares me. You know that sharp intake of breath when you are watching impending doom about to happen... I think mine is desensitized to the point of broken. I have seen enough poop to last a lifetime, have been spit up'ed in my eye and in my mouth... have caught vomit in my hands cause I didn't know what else to catch it with, and have had enough really, really great moments to look back and find the humor in all those crazy situations and think eh, not so bad.
That all leads me to tonight. I had a "first" moment with Baby D that had me laughing so hard that I had tears and my cheeks hurt. I didn't think that there was anything left that could catch me off guard...
Baby D was in the exersaucer while I threw dinner together. He started fussing, conveniently right as I finished cooking. I go to get him out and smell a surprise... no wonder the fuss. I get the diaper, box of wipes, unzip his sleeper and go to do the ole "slide the new diaper under before taking off the old one" trick. My hand instantly smears into poop up the back. Not. Awesome. It has happened before, not the end of the world, but it still sucks anyway. I undo the sleeper all the way because I now know that I'm going to have to change all of his clothes, What I found next was my "never happened before" moment. Not only did Baby D have anti-gravity poop that went up his back, but it went even further. He had rocketed poop up his back all the way up to his neck and out an arm hole of his onesie. OUT the ARM HOLE!!!! I am still laughing. I was able to get his clothes off with out getting poop on his face- always a success. Into the tub, scrub-a-dub and all is well.
Todays lesson: I have NOT seen it all. Everyday there is the potential for something new and unexpected to happen... even if it is just explosive poop!!
