Just call me Darla...

I am a murderer... of the fish.  So Mason got a fish tank for his 2nd birthday because he had been obsessed with the movie Finding Nemo.  We went to the pet store during our 4th date night in 2 years (yes, birthday present shopping on date night- very romantic) to pick out a tank and the essentials  minus the fish a couple of weeks before his birthday so that all we would need to do is grab the fish and we would be all set.  We set up the tank after he went to bed the day before his birthday party and I have to say, I was pretty psyched about all of this.  I had a fish tank when I was younger and although never had much luck with the fish- I always thought fish tanks were cool.  Now that Mason was so excited about fish every time we see them I thought- what a perfect gift. 
The next morning, we still had the tank hidden and Eric went to get the fish.  He came home with five pretty little tetra's that we were told are pretty easy to take care of.  The store has a 14 day return of dead fish policy and I thought smugly- we won't need that policy- we have got this.  Withing that 14 day window, 4 out of 5 of the fish were dead.  One by one they just kept dying off.  I was starting to panic about it and honestly felt pretty guilty about killing off these poor little things.  As it turns out, we got a "bad batch" of fish... or so Eric told me (maybe to ease my guilt)... who were in a truck that broke down and the back of the truck where the fish were got really hot and so the fish were half way gone already which why they just kind of hung out at the top and never really swam around. 
With that batch of fish dwindling fast, we decided to replenish the supply of fish and returned the dead fish for 5 more little tetra's.  In our defense these new fish did seem to have a little more "pep" then the first set.  Despite this new "pep" a few of the fish have since perished leaving a lonely 2 fish left in our care. 
Two lonely fish... that is all that is left.  Now I am terrified that we are going to kill these ones too.  Every morning I check in on them practically holding my breath thinking in my head "please don't be dead, please don't be dead!"  It is terrible.  I feel like I have the fish tank from the movie (without the really pretty expensive fish and a much bigger tank) Finding Nemo and every time I come near they all scream "AHH- SARAH!!! with that horror movie music when the serial killer is about to jump out of the closet in the background.  They like to hang out at the bottom corner at night and when I am up with Cooper for his middle of the night feeding I walk past and it takes everything in my power not to tap the glass to get them to move around- like if I give them a jolt that it will prevent them from just sitting down there slowly dying and I won't find them belly up.  Alas, I resist the urge and now about a month and half later they are still with us.  If a pelican starts taping on the window though, I know we are in trouble! 
Stay with us fishies (as Mason calls them)... I feel guilty enough about the other 8 fish we have already sent to the big ocean in the sky- 2 more might put me over the edge and force me to abandon our attempt at fish and move on to trying not to kill some hermit crabs.

Here we go...

Here I am... an official "Blogger".  I have had all of these random thoughts and funny ideas, and been in a few hysterical situations lately and I kept saying to myself- you should start a blog and write about them! Whats the worst that could happen- no one follow, well, it wouldn't be the end of the world  and I'm pretty sure that I can guilt trip my sister into following me... so there's one person at least.
I am a stay at home mom and my world revolves around my kids and husband so almost everything I have to talk about is mom/wife related some how.  I try to break out of that once in a while... and look what happens- I started a blog!!

You just can't make this crap up!!

Today I had one of those days where some of the stuff that happens- it couldn't be worse even if you took some creative liberties with the facts.  It was just THAT bad... one of those "you have to laugh or you will lose your mind" kind of situations.  Here's how it went down...
First I should mention that at this moment I have a 6week old baby boy- Cooper and a 2 year old boy- Mason.  They are my loves and my life was incomplete without them... that being said, some days are rough.
Ok, so I know that I have an angel baby who sleeps like a champ by only getting up once a night- last night it was at 2am.  Even though he only gets up once, we are up for about an hour usually, and any time awake in the middle of the night is too much.  That wouldn't be bad, except for the fact that my 2year old has been getting up earlier and earlier every day.  This morning the first peeps of "Mooommmiieee... Moovvieee" started at about 5am.  So after trying to squeeze in some adult time the evening before after the kiddo's bed time and then being up at 2am, then again at 5- I was already feeling a little cross eyed and imagining how I could get coffee to not taste like coffee.  The good news is that my husband's schedule this morning allowed him to be home later than usual and the saint that he is, got up with Mason and let me sleep in.  That extra hour and a half totally changed my outlook on the day.... for a little bit anyway.  Fast forwarding a bit- Melt down when daddy had to leave to go to work, tantrum when I cut him off after he brushed his teeth with 5 different toothbrushes- hey, I'm all for good dental hygiene, but enough is enough!! Then we venture to the doctors office- I had a last minute appointment and since Eric works and we are transplanted here with the Coast Guard (and I might be a little short in the friends who can babysit department) we packed it up and all went to the appointment.  It started out pretty good- got there on time (by on time, I really mean a few minutes late) got out of the car with all of our stuff (because we pack half the house to go anywhere) and then walk in the door and Mason proceeds to throw himself on the floor and FREAK! All for no apparent reason.  He snapped out of it pretty quickly though- thank goodness.  So the office has a kids area with books and toys- all covered in sick kid germs, but at this point, I tell myself I will just give him a bath in hand sanitizer later.  Not 5 minutes later- Code Brown- in the play area.  I know that they say that stinky poops means that he's healthy, but seriously, sometimes it smells like his insides are rotting.  Within seconds, the toxic smell is overpowering the whole waiting room.  The good news was that I was the only one in there with kids so none of the others in the waiting room had to put on their detective hats to figure out who was responsible- and that would be me... not my sweet little boy, but me.  I'm the mom so I get the dirty looks for polluting the air and offending their noses.  In my defence though, it's a family practice and the waiting room has toys- if you want to avoid kids and everything that goes along with it- find a different office.  So there I was- ready to get down and dirty with this stink bomb... and then Cooper starts crying hysterically in his car seat.  I put my mom skills to the test and multi-task like no body's business.  I am rocking Cooper's car seat with my foot while changing Mason's diaper while he squirms and makes it an overall difficult situation.  In the middle of this, one of the office ladies- bless her heart- thought that would be the perfect time to come over and chit chat.  "How old is he" "Oh wow, he's really big"  And that is where I got a bit frazzled.  I felt like a circus monkey trying to pat my head and rub my tummy- I was a mess.  The poor woman probably thought I was a lunatic, but the diaper got changed and the crying subsided.  We finally get back to the exam room where Cooper insists on being held, walked, and bounced- it was definitely interesting.  The nurse got all of my information and left to get the doctor.... and that is when Cooper spit up all down the front of me.  Not a little bit.. a lot.  I almost lost my mind at that point.. and then the doctor came in.  Now that I had smelly spit up on my shirt and my shorts looked like I had peed myself he wanted to come in nice and close to listen to my lungs- as he did, a bead of sweat rolled down my forehead- I was an embarrassed mess. He must have felt sorry for me because he kept telling me that he had kids and he understood- but now I'm not sure if that was because I was such a hot mess or if it was because I said sorry about 10 times to everyone I came in contact with in the office.  Then we were done and as we were walking down the hallway Cooper fell asleep and Mason said bye and waved to every single person he saw on the way out like he was the President of the United States.  I guess he is practicing for his future role as World Leader!  Overall, a bit of a rough day, but I was still able to laugh about it and think about how we are going to top that one!!